Walmart Insanity!
by Mily
Summary: The DDR chracters go to walmart for a little mischief...


Hey! Its great to be here in the DDR forum! Here is my really screwed up DDR fanfic! This is not a first attempt at humour but it is a first attempt at anything like this... Special thanks to Miles Whitewolf! Thank you!!! and also special thanks to my bud Tygerofthewynd for sending me the Walmart email!  
  
"Talking"  
  
'Thoughts and sometimes talking'  
  
Beware, this might have character bashing in it!! But its all for fun, its not like I hate them, I love this game!! All the characters are cool! And uh... Konsento is the one from the last DDR to come out for ps1 ok? Ok!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the DDR konamix characters or the other random characters in this fic!  
  
Walmart Insanity!  
  
The Ni-Na, Maid-Zukin, Tracey and Emi are sitting in the living room talking girly chat.  
  
"Ni-Na! Maid, lets get the whole gang together and have a party!" Emi bubbled painting her toenails pink.  
  
"Nah, we should just go to the arcade like we always do..." Ni-Na said in a bored tone.  
  
"But we always do that! Couldn't we go and... get into mischief?" Maid-Zukin asked playfully.  
  
"I know! Lets get the guys together and go to Walmart!" Emi said finishing her last perfect toenail off.  
  
"I found the best pants there!" Tracey said happily.  
  
"What? Why Walmart?" Ni-Na asked perplexed by another weird idea from Emi.  
  
"Maybe I could buy more plaid dresses, maybe we could all buy plaid dresses." Maid-Zukin suggested.  
  
"Huh? No, no, no! See I have this list here... we could play truth or dare with it!" Emi said excitedly.  
  
"I haven't played that since I was little..." Maid-Zukin said awe-inspiringly.  
  
"Come on lets call the guys!!" Emi said brandishing her cell phone.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later at the Walmart...  
  
"Ok, here we are dudes!" Johnny said pulling his car into a parking space near Walmart.  
  
"What did Emi say when she asked us to meet here?" Konsento asked turning to Izam.  
  
"I don't know... she just said she had something really important to tell us." Izam said scratching his head.  
  
"Whatever, its probably better than hanging around the arcade all day." Rage sighed.  
  
"I don't know... I have a bad feeling about this." Konsento said casting worried looks at them all.  
  
"You always say that though! Lets go!" Johnny said combing his hand through his bright blond hair.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Yay! You're here!" Emi said jumping up and down and then walked over to give Rage a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Its about time! Come here!" Ni-Na said and enveloped Izam in a hug.  
  
"N-nice to see you again Maid-Zukin..." Konsento said nervously.  
  
"Hee, hee!" Maid just gave him a kiss on the cheek which made Konsento blush as red as the crimson socks that were on sale next to him.  
  
"Hey baby, what's goin' on?" Boldo said going up to Tracey who also gave him a kiss.  
  
"The reason I called you here is... we're gonna play truth or dare without the truth!" Emi said pulling out her list.  
  
"Oh god, I told you I had a bad feeling about this!" Konsento said anxiously.  
  
"Rage you go first!" Emi said pointing a critical finger at him.  
  
"I'm not afraid of nothin' what do I gotta do?" he asked bravely.  
  
"You have to... get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking! Emi said causing Rage to get a weird look on his face.  
  
"Alright fine! Maybe I'll buy a box or two while I'm at it!" the hothead said walking toward the toiletries section. He then began putting them in people's carts, the first person he picked was a little old lady then a young couple and eventually he put the last box in their cart.  
  
"There! Nothing to it!" Rage said proudly.  
  
"Uh... that last one doesn't count..." Ni-Na said bluntly.  
  
"Ah, whatever ok Konsento you're next! Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals, this is an easy one!" she pushed him toward housewares for his dare.  
  
"This is easy, I do it all the time!" Konsento said and began winding up the first alarm clock and then the second... Eventually he had wound up most of the clocks in 5 minutes which made the first one start ringing.  
  
"There! I did it now lets watch..." Konsento said successfully.  
  
A lady walked up and started looking at the clocks when one after another began ringing coincidently whenever she walked towards a clock. "AHH! The Devil has possessed these clocks! I must go home and PRAY!!" she ran out of there and out of Walmart screaming 'Devil!'.  
  
Everyone cracked up laughing at this scenario and Emi pulled her list out again when Ni-Na snatched it away.  
  
"Oh no you don't! The next ones for you! Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor from the hunting department to the rest rooms! And then stand in front of it!" Ni-Na said evilly.  
  
"Fine! I was gonna do that one anyway!" Emi said and ran and got a can of tomato juice.  
  
She walked toward the rest rooms and made a trail all the way down the aisle making sure no one was looking then she tossed the can to Rage and pretended to look at clothes while trying not to laugh as people gave her weird looks until she pretended to go 'oops!' and run off while the gang was laughing at the whole thing.  
  
"I wanna be next! Me!" Johnny said waving his hand in the air.  
  
"Alright!" Emi said snatching the list back from Ni-Na. "You have to walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in housewares,'...and see what happens."   
  
Johnny just nodded and walked up to the closest employee. " hey dude!"  
  
"Yes may I help you?" he asked.  
  
"Code three in housewares!!" Johnny yelled waving his arms about.  
  
"What?! code three?! Oh no!" the young employee yelled and ran off towards housewares.  
  
Johnny giggled like a little schoolgirl and walked back where everyone was also laughing.  
  
"Didja see the look on his face? Didja!?" He laughed.  
  
"Hee, hee! Maid-Zukin! Do this one..." Emi whispered into Maid's ear and caused her to laugh and walk over to women's clothing and hide in one of the clothing racks.  
  
A random woman was looking through the clothes and came to the one Maid-Zukin was hiding in, Maid launched herself out and yelled "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!!!" causing the woman to scream and throw the clothes she had been buying everywhere.  
  
Everyone laughed their heads off and Emi showed Izam the next one he had to do.  
  
"What?! I'm not doing that!" he said worriedly.  
  
"Come on Izam... please...?" Ni-Na said kissing him. "For me?"  
  
"Fine, for you." Izam sighed and then walked into the men's clothing just to have another employee walk up to him.  
  
"May I help you sir?" he asked.  
  
Izam dramatically began to fake-cry and hysterically screamed. "WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?!" and then he ran away back to where the others were.  
  
"Hey Boldy! I got one for you!" Emi said happily.  
  
"Never call me 'Boldy' again..." Boldo said shaking his head while Emi whispered 'Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly...'  
  
Boldo just shrugged his shoulders walked over to the men's fitting rooms and yelled. "Yo! We're out of toilet paper in here!!"  
  
Johnny cracked up laughing really hard meanwhile the security cameras were zooming in on the group...  
  
In the security video room...  
  
"Sir! These people have been freaking me and some other employees and customers off!" another employee yelled.  
  
"This is the 6th time! Security...!" the boss yelled.  
  
Back in the store...  
  
Loudspeaker: Price check on prune juice... Price check on prune juice...  
  
Tracey assumed the fetal position and with a shaking voice yelled. "No! No! Its those voices again!!" making some people close to her move away fearfully.  
  
Johnny was darting around the whole store humming the mission impossible theme, everyone was having so much fun that they didn't notice the security guards menicingly walking towards them.  
  
"Oh no! Time to split!" Emi yelled and everyone ran out of the store.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the arcade...  
  
"Em! Don't mean to be rude but... you nearly got us killed!!" Rage said angrily.  
  
"You don't have to yell! Besides we had fun right? Right?!" she said looking at everyone's unimpressed gazes.  
  
"Yeah I guess so... good thing Konsento had this cone thingy on his arm to open the tomato juice with..." Ni-Na said.  
  
"Yeah what's that conicle thing REALLY for?" Maid-Zukin asked.  
  
"Uhh..."   
  
"I know! Its for the date-rape drug!" Boldo said causing Konsento to blush really hard again and everyone crack up laughing. "You feel a little pricky prick on he dance floor its him!" he laughed.  
  
"It is NOT!" He said and then added. "At least my names not BOLDY!" he yelled smiling.  
  
"Arg! You're gonna get it! Dynamite Rave on Trick!" Boldo challenged.  
  
"You're on!" Konsento said and they both began their game.  
  
"Hey guys! Next time lets go to Zellers!" Emi said causing everyone to groan and say.  
  
"Shut up Emi!!"  
  
The End...  
  
How was that for screwed up?! Please Review! Please? ^-^ 


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